Love in Present Times

The Dove's Necklace, written by Ibn Hazm, is an interesting story to read, and it caught my attention more than any of the other stories that we have read so far.  Even though the version in our text is translated, and not the original version of this poem, it still relates to what love is like, and how it is viewed today.

The Dove's Necklace reminds me of relationships today in so many ways, and is portrayed this way throughout the entire poem.  When it states "Love has certain signs which the intelligent man quickly detects and the shrewd man readily recognizes, of these first is the brooding gaze."  It continues along to discuss the signs of love.  This hold true to love today, when the first thing that is noticed is the gaze by the lover, and how much attention he pays toward her.  The second paragraph explains how when the loved one is speaking, how much attention the lover pays toward him or her.  So many times I have seen someone interested in another person, and they will laugh at all the jokes they tell even if they are not funny and they will also seem so interested in what the loved one has to say.  Later on in the poem he discusses that when lovers equally love each other, they will fight over the smallest things for no reason, and soon after they will be best friends again.  I know I have seen one of my friends fight and argue with his girlfriend on the phone one second, then a couple hours later he is as happy as can be, and everything is resolved between the two.  These characteristics hold true in my relationship as well.

Hazm, states that "the variety of love is divided into two classes: When a man falls head over heels in love with a mere form without knowing who they are, and a man that forms an attachment at first sight, with a woman that is known to him."  Focusing on the second class of love, which is usually seen more often, he makes a key point that I feel holds true even today.  When relationships progress quickly, they usually end sooner, and when they move slower, they usually last longer.  For example, people today who tell their partner that they love them after two weeks of dating usually don't stay together too long.  As for those who take their time,  and progress slowly (Waiting to say "I love you", waiting a while to have sex, and not being around each other all the time in the early stages) will usually be together longer.  There is always exceptions to this rule, as well as some bizarre cases of love, but for most this hold true.